5 Tips to Positive Self-Talk

What do you say when you talk to yourself?   You know that nagging voice inside your head that ALWAYS has an opinion!?!?  Is it positive or negative? Chances are the inner critic can be negative, loud and clear!

Sometimes it may sound like this “I’m so clumsy.”  “I’m dumb.” “Nothing ever works out.” “I'm so fat.” “I’m ugly.”  “I can’t do this!” Why are we so mean to ourselves? It’s time to show ourselves some love and talk to ourselves like our BFF, our neighbor, a stranger, a child, a love interest or our pets!

Negative self talk can be destructive, counterproductive and can prevent us from having a good day but mostly a successful and fulfilling life, which we all know we deserve!  

Research shows that we spend a quarter of our waking lives engaged in internal (and external) self talk!  So how do we change that negative inner chatter to POSITIVE (much-needed and appreciated) chatter?

Have you ever received a compliment or positive feedback from your significant other, your friend or maybe even a stranger?  It feels GOOD! So good, sometimes you feel like you CAN do anything!

Here are  a few tips to create more positive self talk in your life so you can start living your best life now!

Become Aware!  

This is where the M-A-G-I-C happens! Pay attention to when the negative self chatter creeps in!  Notice when this occurs. Once you recognize and become aware of the negative thought pattern it will be easier to stop it in its tracks and turn those negative voices into positive voices.

Talk to yourself like you would a good friend! 

Show yourself some compassion and love.  If you are able to become of aware of your thought patterns, you may be able to recognize that you wouldn’t speak to a good friend this way, why speak to yourself in this manner.

Give your Inner Critic a fictitious name.  

This one is great and allows the brain to dissociate from the thought or feeling.  For example, when I am feeling insecure and lacking confidence, the negative inner critic, “Nelly” comes in.  I welcome her. I acknowledge her and then thank her for sharing and ask her to leave! I promptly follow with positive thoughts of “I am worthy.  I love you, and you are great!


Once the negative chatter is recognized.  Replace the negative thought with two grateful thoughts.  For example, “I am fat.” Replace with “I lam grateful for my health.”  “I am grateful for my beautiful kids.” Focusing on the positive attracts more positive!

Have a positive mantra you can replace the negative thought.  

Similar to when you name your inner critic, you will have a preset mantra to say when that inner voice creeps in and becomes loud.  For instance, “I am proud of you. I love you. You are great!”

Creating positive self talk starts with recognizing the thought pattern of how we talk to ourselves.  Give yourself a break and interrupt those negative thought patterns with gratitude, positivity and compassion.  This is not to say everything is always “peachy keen” and “roses”, but in fact, it is how you pick yourself up, cope and keep going that matters!